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feminism and sexuality

Because, my friends, the two go hand in hand. Or eye in eye. Or kit in caboodle, as the case may be.

What should a female body look like to be sexy?

2/9/2014

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I was inspired to write an article on this topic after yet another photoshop outrage hit the news.

Australian model Meaghan Kausman made the wonderful decision to fight back after a swimwear company photoshopped her body down to an X-small.

This was her response:


"Making art is my passion. Creating beautiful photos and meeting inspiring people has really given me a new lease on life. I recently did a photoshoot wearing Fella Swim, with an extremely passionate and talented underwater photographer, Pip, @seagypsea_photography Her photos are magical; they capture women in water and celebrate their beauty. This morning I was extremely shocked to see that Fella Swim had uploaded a photoshopped version of Pip’s original photo to their Instagram page. They had drastically altered my body, thinning out my stomach and thighs in an attempt to box me in to the cultural ideal of beauty. Above is their version, below is the real version. My body is a size 8, not a size 4. That’s my body! I refuse to stand by and allow ANY company or person to perpetuate the belief that “thinner is better”. All women are beautiful, and we come in different shapes and sizes! This industry is crazy!!!! It is NOT OKAY to alter a woman’s body to make it look thinner. EVER!"

These are the photos with the photoshopped image on top:
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It's always helpful to be reminded just how brainwashed we are by fashion magazines and almost every single media driven depiction of beautiful young women - THEY HAVE ALL HAD THEIR BODIES DRAMATICALLY ALTERED, THEIR SKINS SMOOTHED, THEIR CURVES CUT DOWN AND THEIR BODIES ELONGATED SOMEWHERE.

We hardly ever get to see women how they actually are.
This is a terribly harmful thing, when you think about it.
No wonder so few of us feel beautiful or happy with our appearance - we are always striving for a totally unrealistic standard that we think is the norm... when in fact it is a totally artificial standard.

I know we all know this theoretically, but the more models who stand out against it like Meaghan, hopefully it will become less easy for companies to distort the image of beauty that they are shoving down our throats.

It's fascinating how notions of what is sexy and beautiful have changed over time.
Even in the 60 and 70s women could have curves and  short waists and imperfect skin and still be considered mega hot.

nowadays it seems like the ideal female beauty is an androgynous teenager, with no curves.
This is a sad image for women to live up to.
These teenagers are also
hyper-sexualised in a way that is hard, easy and tough.

Just to hit home how extremely different notions of sexiness was about 100 years ago, have a look at these amazing photos of burlesque performers
from the 1910s. These women were considered the epitome of erotic beauty.

Audiences became so wrapped up in the beauty and sex appeal of these performers that stories circulated about some men who were willing to kill themselves in fits of lustful passion. Their costumes were considered absolutely scandalous and so tantalising that they really were the equivalent of today's pornography.

Oh my, how times have changed!!

Read more:

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As you can see these women are curvy and natural - they probably had cellulite and wobbly flesh in parts - but they didn't need to feel bad about that. In fact, their curvy bodies were considered perfect shapes and extremely sexy!
How cool (and easy) would it be to have felt beautiful and sexy in those days!
And notice how none of them look like teenagers. They are all women. Yes, they may be wearing silly costumes (obviously fantasy fetishes will never change!), but they look pretty healthy and normal.

Nowadays every single one of those women would be considered fat and unattractive and certainly far from sexy.
And it is all just due to the power of indoctrination from the media.
As a society we are so at the mercy of it... images that come at us from every angle.
I don't even know how we can free ourselves from this entanglement, but at least women like Meaghan certainly contribute towards our freedom in important small ways.

Don't you love the horse-suit?
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Ida Florence (above in the white veil) was the Californian prize beauty.
She certainly is a far cry from this, isn't she:
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feminist pornography

23/8/2014

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Ethically produced, feminist pornography that challenges traditional gender roles and appeals especially to the sexual appetites of women.
Is there really such a thing?
This is a subject I am going to return to again and again on this page - because as a woman who enjoys really good quality porn, yet as a feminist who resents the stupid, sexist, misogynistic kind of porn that dominates the market - I am always on the lookout for porn that is different, creative and fully empowering to women. Real women. Not just the fake boob, fake tan, fake orgasm, brainless bimbo kind of women.
The Feminist Porn book - Politics of Producing Pleasure 
by"sex educator" Tristan Taormino
is a fascinating read and I can highly recommend it to any women or feminsists (of either sex) to enlighten your perspective on pornography (click on the book cover for more info):
And here is an interview with her on the subject:
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feminism aint humanism - get it right people!

22/8/2014

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Get some more education into ya about what feminism is and is not.
If you want to talk the talk, people, you need to know your labels!

Article by
Sherrie Silman
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There’s a question that many Feminists are sick of being asked:

“If feminism is about equal rights for everyone, why don’t you call it equality-ism or humanism?”

Here’s the short answer: ADVERTISEMENTFeminism isn’t called Humanism or Egalitarianism because Feminism, Humanism, and Egalitarianism are three distinct theories.

Feminism isn’t called Humanism or Egalitarianism because Egalitarianism and Humanism pre-existed the idea that ‘women could or even should be recognized as persons’ and didn’t care to take up the cause of gender equity, or to combat homophobia, or racism, or other prejudices that human rights law seeks to eradicate.

Feminism declines to change its name to not include the ‘fem’ because the desire to erase the feminine is negatively prejudicial.

Feminism is called Feminism precisely because of the anti-fem sentiment infecting this planet.

The explanation: Feminism is a social movement advocating for equal recognition of human rights and associated protections for all genders – and not just rights and protections on paper or in theory, but rights and protections in practice.

Feminism operates on the tenet that gender is not an acceptable basis for discrimination, subjugation, marginalization, oppression, enslavement, and/or eradication. The very first distinctly unifying grounds upon which the movement arose was the concept that gender should not dictate whether or not an individual was granted personhood under the law or provided with basic human rights. It’s called Feminism because the gender being denied personhood and subjected to other oppressions was (and still is) female, hence the “fem” in feminism.

Feminism began in places where female-gendered persons were being subjected to discrimination, marginalization, oppression, enslavement, eradication, and other violence. Historically, in most parts of the world, female persons were considered less than men, property of men, and even less than human. This sexism continues in the majority of the world today (and anyone telling you that things aren’t that bad is really just telling you that they don’t experience sexism, marginalization or subjugation directly and don’t care to advocate for those who do).

So, yes, Feminism advocates for female persons to have equal rights with non-female persons. Feminism advocates for equal rights for all persons regardless of gender, because gender is not an acceptable basis for discrimination. To advocate that gender is not an acceptable basis for discrimination is to advocate that sex, orientation, age, nationality, socio-economic status, literacy, ability, and so on are also not acceptable bases for discrimination. Many of us reading this would agree: human rights are for everyone. However, violations of basic human rights, including outright acts of enslavement and oppression, happen every day everywhere on the planet. How does change get enacted? Through action. You start a movement. You prepare for battle.

Feminism is a movement for gender equality.

Who was around before Feminism to advocate for and demand equal rights for all persons regardless of gender? That’s right: No one. There’s no memorable movement identifiable before Feminism. There were movements before what spawned Feminism, and those movements contributed to the social climate that allowed Feminism to coalesce, but none of them had Feminism’s focus. Feminism is the movement against using gender as a basis for discrimination.

So-called ‘feminist claims’ that do not support the aim to achieve equality in terms of human rights and protections for all genders (and by extension, for all persons and social locations suffering under abuses of power) are not actually feminist claims.

Humanism is a branch of philosophy (and ethics) that advocates for equality, tolerance, and secularism (what is commonly known as “the separation of church and state”). Humanism recognizes that human beings do not “require” religion in order to develop moral systems or behave morally. In other words, Humanism is the theory that human beings are able to use logic to determine what is ethical (right and wrong) and do not require dictations from a spaghetti monster (or other deity) in order to understand morality. Humanists advocate for education, tolerance, representative politics (rather than monarchies), and freedom of thought (from religious tyranny). Humanism is not currently an active socio-political movement.


Egalitarianism is a form of political philosophy that advocates all human beings are fundamentally equal and therefore equally entitled to resources (e.g., food, shelter, respect, social status). Egalitarianism, for all its merits, has some distinct limits in applied practice. Equality was originally conceptualized as a means to give everyone the same things, the same means as it were, and although concepts and theories of equality morphed and grew from that starting point, the fact is you can give everyone the exact same items and still have not alleviated inequality and/or unfairness. For example, stating that everyone is entitled to two apples and then handing out two apples to every person does not address the inequity of resources that pre-existed the handing out of apples (in other words, some persons might have already had two apples while others had none, some people are allergic to apples, and some people were more in need of blanket than an apple). Egalitarianism, while a fundamental ethical concept, often fails to address inequities through an intersectional lens. Egalitarianism is not currently an active socio-political movement.

Humanism and Egalitarianism are important intellectual movements whose philosophies inform Feminism as well as global human rights legislation. But Feminism is the only movement actively advocating for gender equality. Feminism is called Feminism because it began as a socio-political movement to achieve gender equality for females and, through its own logic and rhetoric, therefore is a socio-political movement to achieve equality for all persons regardless of gender (or any other demographic characteristic). By logical extension, Feminism supports Equity Theory.

Equity Theory recognizes various and intersectional spheres of power dynamics that create locations of domination/subordination based on value-judgements assigned to various concepts or actualities (e.g., race, gender). Unlike Egalitarianism, Equity Theory tackles how to create equality without treating everyone like they are all exactly the same. People are not all exactly the same, and differing social actors in differing social locations face differing challenges within the social environment.Handing everyone an apple does not create equality if anyone is unable to actually grasp the apple. Barriers, physical, social, and discursive, create inequality of access and require individualized approaches to be overcome. Equity Theory is an intersectional approach to ethics, human rights, and socio-political thought.

To break this down more simply: Egalitarianism tries to give every person the same two loaves of bread despite that some people are allergic to bread. Humanism argues that we should give the loaves of bread to everyone not because the spaghetti monster told us to but because it is logically ethical to do so. Equity Theory recognizes that what some people need (for equality) is two different types of bread, or one loaf and one apple, or no loaves and two oranges (because everyone is different). Feminism reminds us that no one gender is entitled to more loaves of bread, or the freshest loaves of bread, and that certain social locations (genders, sexual orientations, ethnoracial identities) have been pushed to the back of the line unfairly, frequently, and often violently. Feminism points out that, despite the kind thoughts and well-meaning beginnings of Egalitarianism and Humanism, those pushed-back social locations are starving on the crumbs left behind by those who think only certain types of people are entitled to bread in the first place. And Feminism points to the humanists and egalitarians stepping on the heads of those in marginalized social locations to point out that there’s someone beneath their feet, and that if they could just shuffle their position a bit then the person beneath their feet would no longer be trampled.

So the next time someone tells you that they’d get behind Feminism only if it changed its name to some other movement that doesn’t actively combat oppression and inequity, go ahead and congratulate that asshat on the whopping size of their prejudice. And, if you’re feeling kind, maybe send them to this article.

Written by Sherrie Silman

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Differences, diversions and dogmas

20/8/2014

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Where to begin on the subject of feminism.
I guess firstly, to acknowledge that there is actually no definitive description or agreed consensus of what feminism is.
The original suffragettes of the first wave feminism had an easy task in describing their version of feminism. The social and political battles were obvious, concrete and highly persuasive. No need to go over what those extraordinary women achieved - except to remark in passing that I wonder if those women had been shown, say, Miley Cyrus's wrecking ball, as some kind of end result of their movement, whether they would feel disappointed or delighted.


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Then you've got second wave, third wave and post-feminisms... there are so many variations and heated debates within each movement, that it is impossible to know where one fits exactly. I have always considered myself a radical feminist, like many of my friends. Yet our opinions on the subject are as diverse as our personalities - which I think is probably extremely healthy. From innumerable interesting and long conversations with feminist friends of both sexes, I have nutted out three main areas of controversy. People tend to fall very clearly on one side of the argument over these  and are likely to defend their positions with rabid vehemence.
(Disclaimer: I've given each side of the argument a generalised type of feminist name - of course it is not accurate and not based on a learned understanding of feminist theory so don't expect a nuanced discussion of the differences between the various schools of feminism here... this is just me categorising my conversations with my friends and finding the closest match I am aware of).

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1. The first is gender identity polemics and the range of differences between the sexes:
  • There are those who think that biological differences between the sexes are negligible, and that almost all behavioural, emotional or mental distinctions are learned behaviours imposed upon us by the social and political power structures of our society. (see for example Simone de Beauvoir "one is not born a woman but becomes one"). These include gender theorists who usually argue that a two-gender system is neither innate nor universal. In fact they believe that gender (as distinct from biological sex) itself is an entirely constructed imposition that needs to be shrugged off. The state of personally identifying as, or being identified by society as, belonging to either the male or female genders is considered relative to the individual's gender role in society, gender identity, and sexual orientation. For these kinds of feminists an ideal world would be one where bisexuality is the norm, transgender people are extremely common, ambisexuality is a completely acceptable and desirable state of being and where humans are evolving to become hermaphrodites. In other words, a society where notions of gender do not limit or define us as individuals in any way. For the sake of efficacy let's call this group the anti-gender feminists. They are also sometimes known as post-structuralist feminists. (Another good example is Judith Butler's Gender Trouble - click on book covers for more info)
  • Then there is the middle ground school of thought which believes there are some differences between the sexes, mostly due to the different hormones that race through our bodies, and that these differences aren't necessarily problematic as long as they don't become tools of oppression or inequality from a social, political and economic standpoint. I guess most people would fit into this category. People who are more concerned with ensuring women get equal pay and equal career opportunities and can do everything men are able to do without discrimination. Let's call this school the pro-equality feminists. They often focus on the undesirability of women of being pushed into the housewife role and their heroes are women CEOs who have it all. (see Betty Friedan, for example).

  • Then the third group are pro-difference feminists who believe there are important differences between the sexes that are natural and even positive from an evolutionary perspective and should not be overlooked or ironed out. Difference feminists believe differences in gender are basically biological in nature, but are intrinsically (both chemically and genetically) complex and effect processes of thought, emotions and have a huge impact on the whole construct of personality.  (a good example is Camille Paglia). People who think like this tend to fall into two schools- the reverse gender polarity feminists who believe that the sexes are not equal because women are in fact superior to men (and can fall into the trap of female chauvinism very easily), and the gender complimentary feminists who believe that men and women compliment eachother , either as two parts that make up a whole, or as two integral wholistic beings who contain elements of each, and when put together in an ideal way balance eachother (see Margaret Fuller). This third group often contains hippies and metaphysicists.
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2. The second is differences in the object of blame/ or the enemy, and the goals to be achieved.

  • For anti-gender feminists, the enemy is society imposed gender-norms, which are inextricably linked to patterns of oppression, suppression and indoctrination. The goal is to eliminate the imbalanced power structures inherent in notions of gender roles and identity and to be free to experience, and express, all kinds of sexuality.
  • For pro-equality feminists, the enemy is the patriarchal power structure which has always oppressed women throughout history by keeping them subservient and confined to the realm of the home. The goal is to oppose the inequality inherent in standard gender roles and overthrow patriarchy through a radical reordering of society - especially by enabling women to equally participate in the professional, political and financial worlds. For example, in order to free women from the conditions of work as a mother and housekeeper, socialist feminists such as Charlotte Perkins Gilman see the professionalization of housework as key.
  • Similar, yet also different, are the socialist feminists, marxist femiists and anarcha-feminist who all tend to place more emphasis on the struggle against patriarchy being inseparable from class struggle, and blame the role of capitalism in the oppression of women. Their solution is purely a political and economic one involving revolution to abolish class inequalities.
These books below are really good examples of different attitudes and approaches to feminism. Click on them for more information.


  • The object of blame for pro-difference feminists is interesting and more complicated. Of course, not all pro-difference feminists think the same by any stretch of the imagination. There are french feminists and cultural feminists who fit into this group and who have very different views on all kinds of things. But generally speaking, their thrust is that neither the elimination of gender differences nor the achievement of women in positions of power in the workforce or in politics will fix the problem. Because the problem is that these forms of resistance and insurgency are all played out on an already patriarchal stage. The male dominated world is presented as the only method of both expressing and recognising struggle against power structures. But this is problematic because all forms of insurrection get immediately appropriated and become in themselves another form of oppression of the true feminine essence which has no way of expressing itself effectively through these mediums. So from this perspective even feminist discourse itself can become its own enemy. The goal is to find a way to resist without using existent patriarchal oppressive mediums. To find a way to express actual female discourse, as inherently different from male discourse, and to change society so that it can start valuing what it is not used to valuing.
  • Both cultural feminism and post-colonial feminism have a lot to say about and contribute to achieving this. Cultural feminism is often maligned, but is probably where I happen to most fit in. This is based on an essentialist view which commends the differences between the sexes and explores the heirarchy of differences (rather than the eradication of differences). This is often where post-colonial feminists find space to articulate their own versions of feminism. (See for example,  Mary Daly). As an anthropologist, buddhist and post-colonial theorist, myself,  I kind of gravitate towards this space too. However, cultural feminism has its ample share of zealous critiques who denounce it as the death of the feminist movement and blame it for the depoliticization and demobilization of feminism. I beg to disagree... but I'm not going to try to convince you of my reasons in this post. We can get into that another time.
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3. The last is their different attitudes towards pornography:
  • OK, well, basically anti-gender feminists are totally into pornography of all kinds with no exception. They think all pornography should be legal and that censorship is the real crime. They believe women are into porn as much as men and they don't really have a problem at all with mainstream porn. They are into BDSM, gang bangs, ... you name it. Anything goes because we are all grown ups capable of knowing what we want to watch. The more porn the merrier. Here is a great article by a anti-gender feminist right on point.
  • Anti-inequality feminists are divided on the subject. Some are absolutely anti mainstream porn and say that it is by nature exploitative of women and part of the misogynistic patriarchal world that needs to be overthrown. Others are into porn but only if it isn't exploitative or tasteless. They usually see it as an unavoidable part of life that is fine, as long as it is legal and doesn't oppress the poor or helpless. But if a guy is watching too much in a relationship and neglecting his woman, then there will also be a lot of talk about how too much porn is bad for a relationship because it is inherently geared towards  the male viewer and there is not enough porn out there for women.
  • Pro-difference feminists on the other hand, are often anti-pornography, but only on the basis that it caters to and perpetuates the exploitation and misunderstanding of women's sexuality and thereby distorts the natural sexual appetite and appreciation between the sexes. This is because the artificial bodies of the women in most mainstream porn and the very fake representations of what sex is, contributes to the gaping chasm between the sexes and magnifies the differences in the way they experience life... and sex. This results in a decreasing ability to obtain pleasure from real sex, or intimacy from a real woman. (read this article for an insight into this). However, if there was more porn out there genuinely made by women for women, which portrayed women in an empowering way and helped women (and men) to get back in touch with their own sexuality, then the amount of porn wouldn't be a problem and could be very positive.



Click on the books below as essential reading for anybody trying to understand feminist attitudes to porn:





So anyway. This is my introduction to feminism 101 for you, stemming from all the wisdom I have gained from conversations over dinner with friends and thoughts on the subject I have had ever since I was a young, horny, rebellious (and fervent female chauvinist) adolescent.
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full frontal for young feminists

17/8/2014

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Feminism isn't dead. It just isn't very cool anymore. Enter Full Frontal Feminism, a book that embodies the forward-looking messages that author Jessica Valenti propagated as founder of the popular website, Feministing.com. From feministe.us

"Full Frontal Feminism is damn good. It is, very much, a love letter to feminism and a feminist primer. It is not a book that is meant to appeal to career feminists, or to women who have made feminism their lives — however, I am a woman who has pretty much made feminism her life, and I really enjoyed it and I learned from it. The point of Jessica’s book, though, is to explain to younger women why feminism is appealing, and why it’s valid in their lives. It explains why feminism has been important in Jessica’s life. FFF is appealing precisely because it’s conversational. Jessica’s writing is so incredibly tight that she can take complicated topics and distill them down to compelling one-sentence summaries — followed by “fuck that,” or some otherwise perfect, funny and to-the-point dismissal. She takes issues that would take me pages to explain and pares them down to a paragraph. And you’re laughing by the end of it. FFF is not an academic work, and was never intended to be. It’s informative without being intimidating; it’s intelligent and still accessible. Reading it is a lot like talking to Jessica in person — charming, funny, cutting, sometimes foul-mouthed, intelligent, and always fascinating."

So if that appeals to you, click on this:
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